A Family Secret: Zita’s Hard Truth

                                  

Ben Mark

 

 

                   The Family Secret: The Hard Truth

 

 

                            Zita's story.

 

My husband died of a drug overdose, and now my mom, Jena, shared a family secret - Is my dad my uncle or what?

 

 

  1. The Hard Truth

My husband died of a drug overdose, and now my mom, Jena, shared a family secret - Is my dad my uncle or what?

 

My father is my mom's brother. Is he my uncle or what? Things are not always as they appear or sound. That dark blue color is not black. Pay attention and look closely. My name is Zita. I am a twenty-five-year-old single mother of three young children, and I live in Tarrytown, New York. My husband, Freedom, died of a drug overdose last year. He left behind his grandparents, parents, and a young family. It's awful. I have been a single mother for a few months now, and it seems like a hell-fire description in the Holy Bible.

                A few days ago, my mom shared a dark family secret, and it has yet to fully sink in. I recently disclosed the cause of my husband's death for the first time. Freedom died of a drug overdose, not of natural cause, as I told our family members, friends, and Pastor. I had previously lied and covered up the cause of his death because he was a 'Wall Street drug user,' until he died, his drug use was not a significant problem. But the heroin addiction did kill him, and he left me with three children under four. Bad luck for us.

                For you readers, remember that addiction is a treatable disease and treatment works. Seek treatment if drug use negatively affects your relationship, career, health, and finances.

                This is my background. My biological father, John, is seventy-one, and my mom, Jena, is forty. John is my mother's eldest brother. My mother is the last child of her parents' nine children. My father has three sons from his first wife, Gigi. One is forty-four, and the twins are forty-one. As I grew older, I questioned why my mother looked so young, and I did not know her actual age until I turned eighteen. My stepfather, Kris, had raised me from age nine.

                Recently, my mother sat me down to tell me a story. She told me that John Greens was an oilman in Tarrytown, New York. He moved away from his extended family hometown, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. John made waves with money and power in the 80s, and his relatives and friends wanted to be part of his money and fame. He and his first wife, Gigi, were a celebrity couple with social engagements that crisscrossed four cities-- New York, Washington DC, Paris, and London. Everyone envied the Greens. Their relatives in Oklahoma, including my grandparents, looked for ways to be closer to them.

                One weekend, Gigi visited my grandparents' home and saw my mother, Jena. The woman fell in love with my mom. During this visit, my grandparents noticed how their daughter-in-law admired their lastborn, and they schooled Jena to ask Gigi if she could join her to be one of her maids in New York.

                Jena asked, and Gigi said, "No. You are a family. You can't be our maid. After high school, you could attend college in New York."      

                My grandparents happily said, "It is okay for Jena to join you and attend high school in New York."

                My mother, Jena, continued with her story. "I packed my clothing in my backpack and headed with Mrs. Greens to Tarrytown, New York. It was like I was going to heaven. The heaven our Pastor preaches on Sundays. It was my first time on an airplane and riding in a limousine. We arrived at the Greens' home, a mansion. I had never been to one in my whole life. Everything was big, pleasant, and exceptional."

                               Is John my uncle or what?

 

2. Truth Confrontation                                                                         

 

"Family secrets are like vampires. They never really die and can always come back to bite you."

- Alberta J. McMorris.

 

"We arrived at the Greens' home. The house was big, pleasant, and cheerful. Mrs. Greens requested a young woman to take me to my room, which I later discovered was one of the VIP rooms. The main bedroom was in the corner. The room was as large as our three bedrooms in Oklahoma.

                "During dinner time, Mrs. Greens took the time to introduce me to her three boys, maids, and others. She was dressed in a colorful and attractive top with full makeup, and Mr. Greens joined the table later. He explained how he had stopped at the store to pick up a birthday card and gift for one of his staff.

                "I observed how Mr. and Mrs. Greens treated everyone with love and respect. It differed from how my dad treated his employees, children, and mom. On my first night, I was afraid to sleep alone in such a big bed and large room. I told Mrs. Greens, and she suggested leaving the door open and the light on until I got used to my new room.

                "Things in the household were enjoyable. Mrs. Greens always went to bed before her husband, whose home office was near the living room. He worked late and watched a lot of TV. Sometimes, I would hear him heading to his bedroom after midnight or early morning.

                "I remember one evening when we returned from tennis practice, we ate dinner early that night because Mr. and Mrs. Greens hosted six guests from our private high school. They were the school's newly elected board members, and at the table, Mr. Greens kept looking at me throughout the meal.

                "I attended an exclusive private high school with my three nephews. I felt out of place, but Mrs. Greens wanted me to feel at home, so she called the school counselor to help me make new friends. They treated me well, but it was challenging to make good friends. The mean girls did not want to be friends and the other girls ignored me. Sycophants were all over the place, so I was often alone during lunch and field trips."

                I interrupted Jena and asked, "You attended the same private school with your nephews?"

                "Yes, the Greens treated me the same as their three boys. We had the same job on weekends, and I was paid the same rate as their boys. Mrs. Greens was the best person I had ever known. But, after a few weeks in the Greens' mansion, I became homesick. I continued to keep the light on and my bedroom door open at night.

                "Then one night, Mr. Greens walked into my room. He climbed into my bed and touched me. He promised to buy a new house for my parents and help my siblings with college tuition. The man promised me everything on earth. I told him I had not done anything like that before, and he tried to rape me. I fought him, but he had his way. He was a tall man with remarkable power and fame."

 

3. Truth In the Open     

                                                                        

"There are secrets in all families, you know."- Jane Austen.

 

                "I told him I hadn't done anything like that before, but he forced himself on me and I started to cry. He taped my mouth with a blue tape he had brought from his home office. While holding my mouth with his left hand, he painfully raped me that night. I was fourteen."

                She took a deep breath and continued, "The rapes became a nightly event. John got used to it, and it became his hobby. He was happy and excited in the house. It worsened when Mrs. Greens was hospitalized for six days of cancer treatment.

                "The Greens' happy household turned moody except for John. The dinners were dull as the children, maids, and other employees lost their appetites and worried about Mrs. Greens. She was a lovely and kind woman. Mrs. Greens eventually returned home healthy and in recovery. Things returned to normal as we knew it, and the rape continued anytime John got a chance. It happened in the guest bathroom, during dinner time, in the garage, and tennis court."

                Again, I interrupted my mom. "Mom, why didn't you tell someone or run away? You were fourteen and a high school student."

                Jena remained silent for a few minutes. Then it occurred to me that we have different points of view regarding rape survivors. Maybe this rape experience drove her strong opposition to prominent rapists and rape defenders in New York. Why was my mom sharing her rape story now, and why this horrible story after my husband passed away?

                My mom is a savvy woman, and I would find out why. I hope she wasn't sick. She looks somewhat worried.

                My mom continued without answering my questions directly.

                "I got pregnant after six months in the Greens' home. Do you remember former President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky?"

                I was somewhat embarrassed and silent.

                My mom continued with a straight face. "As I suffered nightly rapes, I heard that John bought a beautiful house for our parents. Our parents were excited when we talked on the telephone. They couldn't wait for me to visit during the summer. Everyone talked about the lovely house in Oklahoma while I was being raped every night and, sometimes, early in the morning before school.

                "I don't know why I didn't say something. I was somewhat assertive and friendly with Mrs. Greens and her three boys. I was like her daughter, and she treated me like a princess. Her three boys protected me outside the house, and they didn't know their loving father raped me underneath their noses.

                "All our maids, nannies, and other employees in the house knew what was going on except Mrs. Greens and her three boys.  I didn't know if she had a career or business. Later, I learned she was an heir to John's companies and wealth. Her family had trusted John with their wealth, not her because of her gender. John was a classic gold digger."

                She smiled sadly. I was served and waited on as her children. We all earned money on our jobs, went on mini-vacations, and shopped at high-end stores. Around late spring, I knew I was pregnant because I felt something moving in my belly. The Greens didn't know, but I suspected our house manager did."

                "I'm in agony," I cried, listening to her story.

                Is this true? I thought.

 

 4. Truth  Revealed                                                                                                                     

"The greatest secret of life is never given up. Don't give up on yourself, your dreams and your family."- Lailah Gifty Akita.

 

             "The school administrators were the first to know about my pregnancy at 20 weeks. Why? While studying for the final exams in the school library, I fell asleep for hours and missed half of the day's classes. The counselor took me to her office and asked me some questions.

                "I came to Greens in October and was pregnant by January. Our school's doctor confirmed that I was 20 weeks pregnant. The school administrators closed my pregnancy case without any future investigations.

                "John had everyone in the school board and city hall in his pocket, including his wife. He and his family were the big donors to our exclusive private high school and city capital projects. John told his wife that he was the father of my child without remorse or an apology. I think his wife knew about his history more than others. "

                I looked at my mother and shook my head in disbelief. How could my mom be treated like this?

                "The following day, Mrs. Greens treated me kindly and put me on the next plane to return to my parents. I didn't know why she was so kind to me then. Now, I know she was just practicing rich culture etiquette to avoid scandal to her brand and wealth.

                "When I arrived in Oklahoma, I saw John lording over everyone. I was shocked at how he was already in our home, taking charge of our parents' decision-making. My mother appeared embarrassed, fearful, and sick. She said to no one in particular, 'I hate everything here, and I hate my life.'

                "I was annoyed at my parents' new house, and I hated my parents and John. My mom cried, looking so small, and seemed depressed in the fancy house. My grandparents came in and were more worried about John going to prison for the rape than myself or my mom. It seemed they placed more value on their adult grandson than their teen granddaughter. It was painful to watch and disgusting."

                She seemed so relaxed as she spoke of all this. I was getting restless and doubting what I was hearing. Listen, I am just being honest with myself.

                Jena continued, "The rich are judges and prosecutors in any crime they committed. Wealth and power reigned, and my parents chose not to call the police or the children's protective services. But they brought our church pastor, my grandparents, and a family lawyer to our home.

                "John held a meeting and said he would marry me when I turned sixteen. He would do anything our parents wanted. He loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. My parents agreed without a debate.

                "Our family lawyer made many demands, including two million dollars, or she would call the CPS and the police. John appeared pissed off and suggested not calling the police because that would make things worse for everyone, and they could lose the case."

                 I thought, Lose the rape case?

                "John asked our Pastor and grandparents to intervene. It seemed he had spoken with our Pastor and grandparents before meeting with our parents. Our Pastor became his spokesperson and encouraged my parents to see the good in a terrible situation.

"The Pastor then shared a bombshell. John was not my biological brother. He was an abandoned teenager adopted by my parents. My grandparents confirmed the family secret for the first time and casually stressed, 'All things can work together for good. It's a family matter.' I hated my grandparents' attitude until they passed away a decade ago.

                "Rapists and their supporters always find excuses or blame others for their crimes," she said.

 

 

 5. The Truth, the Fear                                                                         

 

"The truth sets us free, but it first makes us miserable." Sandra Wilson.

                "I hated all the adults who had enabled John. My father and grandparents were ready to live well without a clear conscience. My mom seemed to lack power and a voice."

A mother who delivered nine babies lacked power and a voice! I couldn't believe it.

                Jena continued, "My therapist suggested I share this secret with you before you have children, but I delayed it because I thought you were still too young to bear your father's burden. I don't want to die with this secret. Your husband's death gave me a wake-up call to do it. I hope you don't blame me or hate yourself.

                "I made peace with myself. I was a child and admired John as an adult and the 'brother.' I hated all the adults who didn't protect me. John took my childhood from me.

                "No one asked me how I felt or what I wanted. My mother hated my father and divorced him afterward. Mrs. Green quietly divorced John and took over most of his empire. I moved in with John to a two-bedroom apartment he bought in New York. He hired a maid to cook and clean after us. After I had you, I went to a public high school and state college to complete my education.

                "After your first birthday, I started dating other men and neglected John for good. He paid for what he did and after a few years, he lost respect from everyone, including his three sons. After living with him as husband and wife for eight years, I filed for divorce. And I married the love of my life, Kris, a year later, and he raised you and your two siblings. As you can see, today, I'm living a good life, and John is in a nursing home at the young age of seventy-two. 'The evil men do, lives after them.' I'm sorry for this horrible confession. Honey, do you have more questions?"

                "Why are you sharing this now?"

                She didn't say anything, just stayed quiet.

                "Mom, is this true, or did you make it up? Why now, after a quarter of a century?" I pressed on.

                "It is my truth, and I share it because I don't want to die with the secret. Your dad knows it's true. You can ask him if you wish to before he dies. Please go to the nursing home and ask him.

                "But stop bad-mouthing rape survivors and defending New York rapists. Rape survivors often are powerless to fight with such powerful men and women. John did terrible things to me, Mrs. Green, and her three boys. Your dad is miserable today. You can continue to visit him if you want. I wish your husband were alive to hear my story, but I am glad I decided to share it today. I'm free."

                My mind was swirling with all that I had been told today. How can I trust anyone again? My family's secret is so distasteful and evil. I feel so angry and hateful.

                I began crying. "Mom, I have a secret. I want to be free too. Freedom didn't die of natural causes but a drug overdose. I lied because I was ashamed of our family's clean image."

                We hugged and cried together.

                "No worries, I knew," she said.

                "How did you know?"

                "There's nothing that can be kept secret on Wall Street. But you don't tell each other. Your stepdad's uncle gave him a position he didn't have experience in, and after he got the job, everything about him was scrutinized. Drug use in his line of work is not a secret until you are caught or die."

                "Oh, my god. I'm so ashamed."

                "Don't be. You cannot be ashamed of others' mistakes. Focus on yours and mind your own business. Honey, is your drug use a problem?"

                "No, mom, I don't use drugs," I exclaimed.

                "Okay! If you do, seek help today before you die. You will leave your three young children in state custody. They use children in state custody as political footballs. They are not the best place for young children."

                "Oh no, I don't use drugs. I wanted to file for divorce when I discovered he was using them a few months before he died," I confess.

                "Okay. Be wise and ask for help. Addiction is a treatable disease. Whitney Houston died because she chose not to ask for help. Stupid pride. No shame in asking for help and staying alive."

                We sat in silence for a while longer, lost in our thoughts. Jena is my mom. She knows. Mom knows everything.

                Why do you think my mom shared our family secret now? I have to come clean about my drug use. She knows!

    6.  More  Confessions                                                                                          

 

"The kind of individual that you see on the outside is never the same person on the inside." — Jonathan Anthony Burkett.

                I asked once more. "Mom, why are telling me this story today? Please, tell me the truth."

                "My therapist suggested I share this secret before you got married, but I delayed because I thought it might cause you so much pain, and I did not want to make you unhappy."

                Long silence.

                "I reflected on her suggestion and decided that I was going to tell you when I turned fifty, but your husband's death and my recent breast cancer diagnosis compelled me to share this terrible secret fast before I died. Death waits for no one, and I wanted to do it, even when you are mourning your husband. Please, understand and forgive me."

                I was stunned. "When were you diagnosed?"

                "Last week."

                "Oh, my God. What is the prognosis?" I asked frantically.

                "Stage two, and there are many effective treatment options for me to explore. The good news is I am young, have excellent health insurance that covers treatment, and have a supportive family. Now, I am happy that I dare to tell you our family secret. That mystery was worse than cancer. I am relieved. It lets me focus on the issue at hand. I encourage you to share your secret because it is freedom and helps us live better."

                We cried and hugged again.

                "I can pay for your therapy for eighteen months. It will help you deal with the family pain and the death of your husband. All that's happened recently gave me a wake-up call to share my secret. I hope it strengthened our relationship."

                We cried and hugged more.

                Mom stressed again, "Drug addiction is like cancer and a treatable illness."

                Both of us sat in silence.

                "Mom, I will go for treatment." We hugged, and I left to pick up my children from my sister's place.

 

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction. All the characters, events, and locations in this book are either products of the author's imagination or used fictitiously.