Sasa’s Love Story: Was she a lover or a helper?
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Pixabay |
Was she a lover or a helper?
Sasa could not answer this question until she found herself in an ICU. And friends, colleagues, and family members could not answer the question either.
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Sasa walked into a prestigious college she never dreamed of attending. She observed with awe the lines of attractive green trees with massive green space. She felt relaxed, and calmness rushed through her body; she patted herself on the shoulder and made her parents proud.
She moved into the dormitory room she shared with the daughter of a former impeachment counsel.
Sure, her parents, Mike and Nima, made life easier for their
daughter with their support and care. They mortgaged their home and used part
of their retirement fund to pay her tuition and other expenses. Sasa excelled
at academics, but her social life was a disaster.
She made it out of college with flying colors. However, it
was so strange she did not have dates like her friends. Almost everyone in her
small class dated and had fun.
After much soul searching, she discovered that all the
dating partners were from similar parental backgrounds —financially and professionally. There were the children of highly regarded scientists, lawyers, doctors,
entrepreneurs, technology executives, and millionaires.
Sasa was an outlier from a middle-class family who lived in
a small town. It was fascinating because dating partners in her class did not
discriminate among races or nationalities, but she observed love among everyone
was overwhelmingly based on class.
Sasa learned a powerful lesson from college and her
classmates. After college, she had high hopes that she could find a partner in
graduate school or work. She went to law school and continued to hope for a
stable relationship, but no luck after more than a decade as an attorney.
Most of her college friends married and had children. One
thing was sure: she had a high-powered job and continued to date here and
there, but nothing interesting for a long-term relationship.
Decades passed quickly, and she was desperate and in denial
of her desperation when getting together with friends or relatives.
She wanted someone to share her life with, but finding a
tasteful partner was getting more difficult. She did not need someone to care
for her but did not know if she wanted to care for a partner.
Then, on her forty-first birthday, she met a man, Luke, on
the train back from work. Instantly, she fell for a well-dressed,
polite, and well-spoken man.
Sasa owned her luxurious and spacious apartment, which paid
off.
Sasa lived a simple, drama-free life and had a nice income. She took the train to work and used the car to run local errands. Things were easy and fabulous, but she had no one to share her dreams, fears, and aspirations. That was torn on her flesh.
She started dating Luke without a background check on him. She refused to listen to her dad and friends warning her of dating a man with
an unstable job and accommodation.
Sasa's dad, a retired high school principal, did not like
Luke.
He said,
"I don't like men
who don't build something. These men have nothing to lose, and they always
gamble with their life and that of others."
Her dad left her alone with her personal life. He
reluctantly attended his daughter's wedding at her home. That is right, they
married in her large apartment.
After the wedding, Luke moved into her home, which she had
already paid for, and continued to go to his job, which she did not know much
about. She did not want to know, and he
did not care to tell her anything.
After a few months of living together as husband and wife,
she discovered her husband had three children he did not tell her about.
Luke told his
wife, "You didn't ask if I have children or not."
Sasa paid most of the bills, and after a few months, Luke
asked her to give him access to the mortgage so that he could make the payments. She explained that there was no mortgage.
Then he suggested that the apartment's title be changed to include
his name as they are husband and wife. That was too soon for her because she
was unsure of his assets and too timid to ask him direct questions. She
declined her husband's request.
Sasa is an effective defense attorney in courtrooms, and at
home, she could not ask her husband a simple question about his source of
income.
It was terrifying for her to question "the man of the
house."
For the first
time in their eighteen-month relationship, she said, "No. We can keep what we
brought to the marriage separately."
Saying no to her husband for the first time brought a new
dynamic to the relationship. That was the end of a well-mannered gentleman. He
changed 360 degrees from that day, and she sensed trouble.
Right from the day Sasa said No to her man, she knew what
she knew all along: Luke needed help from her—a lovely home in a beautiful
neighborhood to stay in, healthy food to eat, a warm bed to sleep in, and easy
money to purchase nice things for himself and his children.
She struggled with the verbal abuse she got from her husband
and was too embarrassed to tell her dad or friends. But one of her friends,
Jessica, sensed something was wrong and one day asked her directly what the
matter was.
Sasa denied it and picked a fight with her good friend.
Jessica said to
her,
"Your life matters
to me. Rather than fighting you, I'll do a background check on your husband
before he kills you." Sasa hung up the phone.
Jessica did as she promised and later called her friend and
told her what she found— Luke served time in prison for harassing two women, had
no work history, owed thousands of dollars on child support, and everything
about him was a lie.
Jessica warned
her, "Please get out before he kills you."
Sasa knew this well-dressed man was empty inside, but she
allowed her emotions to ruin her life. The signs were there, but she chose to
suffer. For example, neither Luke's relatives nor friends attended the
wedding.
Sasa's dad shed tears throughout the wedding ceremony. Sasa
knew her dad's tears were not for joy but the pain of losing her mom a few
years back.
After her friend told her Luke's secret, she had a heated discussion
with her husband. During their debate,
she became furious and spoke harshly with her husband for lying.
The man fired
back,
"You didn't ask me
personal questions. Why would you expect me to share with you?"
"You need to get
out before I call the police," she demanded.
Luke became angrier because he had no answer or explanation
for his lies. At last, he could not stand being exposed, so he grabbed their marble
plant pot and hit his wife on the face and head several times.
Sasa escaped and crawled to a safety room, and the
security door shut behind her. She screamed and managed to call 911.
Emergency professionals arrived, and within a few minutes,
many police cars and dogs entered the apartment complex. Security in the building
made things difficult, but they traced the apartment as they lost contact with
the caller. The key to the emergency elevator was not working, and a few minutes
were lost before the maintenance person performed a miracle for the elevator to
work again.
They needed a code to open the door, and it took another few
minutes for medical personnel to reach Sasa-- she was unconscious. Her clothing
was soaked with blood from her head and face.
Luke was arrested and taken out.
Sasa remained in critical condition for a week in the ICU
and a few weeks in the hospital. Now, she is back home and continuing with her
recovery and rehabilitation.
When she returned home, she posted on her social media page,
"God saved my life,
and please learn from my experience. Check your dating partner's background. No
excuses: vet anyone you want to date. Take a cue from landlords and employers
who always vet their tenants and employees. I'm broken but alive. Listen to people
who love you."
Get good with your life.
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